Make curiosity your superpower
As a product manager do you have all the answers, or are you a curious, strategic guide for your team?
In my early product roles I was that PM who had an answer for everything. I went into every conversation in defence mode, ready to spar. As I saw it, I was protecting the team from ‘helpful’ suggestions and fending off distracting wish lists from stakeholders.
I felt the need to prove myself, show I knew my stuff, that my strategy was bullet-proof. And I got great feedback from colleagues and stakeholders.
But it was taking its toll on my mental health. I used to tell my team that ‘life comes first’, but I was struggling to follow my own advice and didn’t know how to ask for help.
Having all the answers is unsustainable
Not only was this way of approaching my role not sustainable for me personally, the pressure I put on myself to have all the answers robbed me of the ability to hear the unspoken stuff. It stopped me actively seeking external input. It prevented me from being curious.
I started to see that being self-contained – something I’d always considered to be a positive – had become unhelpful, something I needed to unlearn.
Curiosity creates space
I started small.
When I didn’t have the answer, I challenged myself to leave silence, to allow myself to say ‘I don’t know yet’.
Gradually, I found that conversations went differently. I felt less tense. I felt more connected. I started to ask questions, rather than closing down ideas. ‘Say more’, ‘Why do you think that is?’ - these were helpful bridges into others’ thinking, be they team members or stakeholders. What’s more, bringing that curiosity to conversations with my team helped me see how they were approaching problems, and helped them clarify their thinking so they could focus on what mattered most.
Valuable conversations begin with ‘why?’
I began to notice that the more I asked questions - especially those starting with ‘why’ - the more valuable conversations became, the better I understood where others were coming from. I became better at engaging stakeholders and telling our story; I was less defensive and more confident about decisions - and, naturally, I began to enjoy my job.
Relinquish control
Being a great PM is the art of asking the right questions. Someone told me this early in my career, and it took me a while to understand how right they were.
That starts with relinquishing control, so you have the energy to look and listen to what’s happening around you. Start to ask questions, because the ‘why’ is where the story is, it’s where the common ground and human connections are.
Make uncovering the ‘why’ your mission in every conversation. It will make you better at your job.
Get in touch for a chat
If any of this resonates with you and your journey in product management and leadership I’d love to hear about it in comments, or you can arrange a free initial chat with me about coaching.
